The Ordination of My Dog
I have decided I should ordain my dog because of this:
Nine women, including one Canadian and one American, plan to defy the Vatican and become the first female Roman Catholic priests and deacons ordained in North America.The ceremony, which is not sanctioned by the Vatican, is to take place July 25 on the St Lawrence River near Gananoque in eastern Canada... Organisers consider the location for the ceremony international waters between the United States and Canada where no diocese has jurisdiction and thus cannot interfere [as if this has anything to do with anything... the Bishop is still attached to a diocese] The Vatican has refused to allow women to become priests...[and it seems God has too, but let's ignore Him, and attempt it anyhow. Does anyone else get the game 'Operation' buzzing noise in their head when they think about this?] Some of the women are divorced, others married. Celibacy or sexual orientation is not considered, but years of religious study is a prerequisite, Birch-Conery said [I'd really, really, REALLY like to know what exactly this study entailed-probably lots of contemplation while walking the spiritual maze].
So, following these "ordinations" I shall ordain my dog, Abby, a priest. It would be just as valid- and she'd be great at it! She is compassionate, kind, loving, gets along with everyone, is good at calming upset people down, and I bet she'd look ADORABLE in religous garb! She will be a great pastor for those who own dogs- who realates better than her, a dog who lives with people-she can explain things from the dog's point of view. She could never do any of this without being a priest, right? She MUST be ordained so she can help other people, be nice, be religious, and teach others about Christ..